Getting through 2020 was tumultuous, at best.

The continuous loss was immeasurable and catastrophic. From the loss of numerous family members and close friends, legends and icons from all of our lives around the world; to businesses and freedoms slipping away through our fingertips. We will all undoubtedly suffer immense PTSD from surviving 2020!

Today, in gratitude, I choose to reflect upon all that I’ve learned, the levels of growth attained and what I promise to myself for 2021.

This year I promise to put my HEALTH first; both mental and physical. I’m not sure which is more difficult, honestly, LOL… To secure your mental, you must first need to be HONEST with YOURSELF… about…everything and anything!! That’s super scary sometimes… because you have to have willingness to FORGIVE yourself too. It’s not an easy task, but WELL WORTH THE JOURNEY! What comes next is freedom from your own chains to growing towards a healthy state of existence.

Now the physical health part is tied closely to mental because it’s powered by discipline and motivation. So if your mental is not on point the physical battle is that much harder. (in a funky voice: “Free your mind, and your ass will follow!”)

Staying in a fitness state of mind can be extremely challenging. Trust me! I know! I’ve been in competition shape…. all the way to a fluffy shape! But this time, is the hardest its ever been for me to stay consistent. I had thought it was because this time, I don’t have my “gym fam” local.

So… how do I stay motivated while those around me do not eat clean or understand how to be supportive of lifestyle changes?

I decided to (finally) start this blog. To share the ups and downs in my fitness journey, so that I can communicate with anyone else that also faces the struggle.

Here’s my story…

It was this past July, in the middle of the quarantine, that I got word of my brothers’ cancer returning with a vengeance and that my daughter and I should return home as soon as possible to spend time with him. It was a wonderful 2 weeks with family, making memories ….. and EATING EVERYTHING!! On the third week, we ventured to southern Florida to visit more family and my amazing friends, Johnny and Karenne Styles, and Jessica Huete, IFBB Pro Figure Champion.

Immediately, I followed in line with their clean eating habits and was able to try Double Tap by REDCON1. I’m very careful with fat burners because often times they leave me jittery and nauseous. After taking them 2 days in a row, I was 1000% convinced on the quality and insisted Johnny introduced me to the CEO of the company! It was so great to spend a few days in a fitness minded environment. I was so motivated and decided that weekend would kick-start my transformation back to competing. I gave my body to the direction of Jessica and she outlined my diet, got me started on the supplements and I was on my way. She has daily online high energy workouts, so even if I couldn’t make it to the gym, I could still get it in.

It was great! Week 1 I worked out 5 days… the next couple weeks it was 3-4 days. Then life happened. Although I trailed off on the workouts it the weeks to follow, my diet stayed impeccable and I still lost weight every week! My progress was a little slowed, but it was still progress!

Then, in end of August, we got the call. My brother lost his battle with cancer and it was time to go home again. Needless to say, the last thing I was going to do at that point was try to meal prep. The trip ended up being one of the best visits with the entire family ever. So much laughter and love… despite the reason we were there. My brother was definitely smiling with us that week.

So, once again, my flow was interrupted. The roller coaster of mourning and sadness continued to roll in the weeks to follow and those 15 pounds found their way back.

The hits kept coming when we lost my brother-in-law in a motorcycle accident on Halloween night. This tragedy sent me down a very dark spiral and was completely depressed by the holidays, putting on even more weight.

The guilt of failing my mission hovered like a cloud, and I needed to make a decision.

The time is NOW.

So, here I am, back to square one. Although this time, I will not do it alone. None of it. When I’m hurting, I will reach out and talk about it. When I need motivation, I’ll call my “fit family” in FL and in Vegas. Now, I also have you! Let us stay focused on achievable goals and keep ourselves accountable to the promises we keep to ourselves! Lets get active and STAY active!!

My day 1 started again yesterday. I had a solid session of aerobic calisthenics. And today I will do it again!

Baby steps to beast mode. Just keep moving.

This is the beginning of my next fitness journey.

This time…. I WILL NOT STOP!

In the words of The Godfather of Wellness, Johnny Styles, #LetsDoThis !

Sending love and light to you all!

Happy New Year!


20 views0 comments